Sunday, August 25, 2013

Diagnosis for a red head



A young Redhead goes into the doctor’s office and
 says that her body hurts wherever she touches it.

“Impossible”, says the doctor. “Show me.”

She takes her finger and pushes her elbow and 
screams  in agony. She pushes her knee and
screams,  pushes her ankle and screams.

The doctor says,
“You’re not really a redhead, are you?”

“No, ” she says, ” I’m actually a Blonde.”

“I thought so, the doctor says. 
“Your finger is broken.”



Friday, August 23, 2013

Adam's Suit



A little boy opened the big and old family Bible
 with fascination, looking at the old pages
 as he turned them.

Then something fell out, and he picked it
 up and looked at it closely.

 It was an old leaf from a tree that had been
 pressed in between the pages.

“Momma, look what I found,” the boy called out.

“What have you got there, dear?” his mother asked.

With astonishment in the his voice,
 he answered, “It’s Adam’s Suit!”




Saturday, August 10, 2013

An Italian Boy's Confession



'Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl.' The priest asks, 'Is that you, little Joey Pagano?' 'Yes, Father, it is.' 

'And who was the girl you were with?' 'I can't tell you, Father, I don't want to ruin her reputation.' "Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?" 'I cannot say.' 'Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?' 'I'll never tell.' 'Was it Nina Capelli?' 'I'm sorry, but I cannot name her.' 'Was it Cathy Piriano?' 'My lips are sealed Father.' 'Well then, was it Rosa DiAngelo?' 'Please, Father, I cannot tell you.'

The priest sighs in frustration. 'You're very tight lipped, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself.' 


Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers, 'What'd you get?' 'Four month's vacation and five excellent Leads.'