Diagnosis for a red head

A young Redhead goes into the doctor’s office and

 says that her body hurts wherever she touches it.

“Impossible”, says the doctor. “Show me.”

She takes her finger and pushes her elbow and 

screams  in agony. She pushes her knee and

screams,  pushes her ankle and screams.

The doctor says,

“You’re not really a redhead, are you?”

“No, ” she says, ” I’m actually a Blonde.”

“I thought so, the doctor says. 

“Your finger is broken.”

Adam's Suit

A little boy opened the big and old family Bible

 with fascination, looking at the old pages

 as he turned them.

Then something fell out, and he picked it

 up and looked at it closely.

 It was an old leaf from a tree that had been

 pressed in between the pages.

“Momma, look what I found,” the boy called out.

“What have you got there, dear?” his mother asked.

With astonishment in the his voice,

 he answered, “It’s Adam’s Suit!”

An Italian Boy's Confession

'Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl.' The priest asks, 'Is that you, little Joey Pagano?' 'Yes, Father, it is.' 

'And who was the girl you were with?' 'I can't tell you, Father, I don't want to ruin her reputation.' "Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?" 'I cannot say.' 'Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?' 'I'll never tell.' 'Was it Nina Capelli?' 'I'm sorry, but I cannot name her.' 'Was it Cathy Piriano?' 'My lips are sealed Father.' 'Well then, was it Rosa DiAngelo?' 'Please, Father, I cannot tell you.'

The priest sighs in frustration. 'You're very tight lipped, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself.' 

Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers, 'What'd you get?' 'Four month's vacation and five excellent Leads.'

The Fur Coat

Watching her mother as she tried

 on her new fur coat, the young

 daughter said unhappily,

 "Mom, do you realize some poor dumb

beast suffered so you could have that?"

The woman shot her an angry look,

 "How dare you talk about your father like that!"

Uncommon Cough Cure

The owner of a drug store walks in to find a guy leaning heavily against a wall. 

 

The owner asks the clerk, "What's with that guy over there by the wall?" 

 

The clerk says, "Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough. 

I couldn't find the cough syrup, so I gave him an entire bottle of laxative." 

 

The owner says, "You idiot! You can't treat a cough with a bottle of laxatives!" 

 

The clerk says, "Of course, you can! Look at him; he's afraid to cough!"