Money Bags

An elderly lawyer was about to die. One day he told his wife he had come up with a way to take all of the money he had with him to heaven. He told his wife to put all of his money in the attic so when he died he could grab it on the way up.

A couple of weeks after he died his wife was cleaning out the attic and saw that the money bags were still there. “That old fool,” she chuckled. “I told him that we should have put the money in the basement!”

Pig Humor

Feed the pig!!!

Thanks to my Facebook friend Deb

 for posting this to her timeline.  

I had to share it here!

Source

Poor Jack . . .

Sally walked in to the Dentist office to make an appointment. 

"How much do you charge to pull out a tooth?" She asked." 

"It's $130," was the prompt reply. 

"$130!" gasped Sally, "That's ridiculous! There must be a way for you to go cheaper." 

"Well," said the Dentist thoughtfully, I suppose if we don't numb it, we could knock off $30." 

"Only $30?" countered Sally, "That's still $100, you've got to make it cheaper." 

"Well," said the Dentist after a long pause, "I suppose if we take it out with a wrench we could knock it down to $50." 

"Perfect", said Sally happily. "I would like to make an appointment for next Tuesday, for my husband Jack."

TGIF

T-G-I-F vs. S-H-I-T

A business man got on an elevator. 

When he entered, there was a blonde already inside who greeted him with a bright, "T-G-I-F" 

He smiled at her and replied, "S-H-I-T" 

She looked puzzled and repeated, "T-G-I-F," more slowly. 

He again answered, "S-H-I-T." 

The blonde was trying to keep it friendly, so she smiled her biggest smile, and said as sweetly as possibly, "T-G-I-F." 

The man smiled back to her and once again, "S-H-I-T." 

The exasperated blonde finally decided to explain. 

'T-G-I-F' means 'Thank God, It's Friday.' Get it, duuhhh?" 

The man answered, "S-H-I-T' means 'Sorry, Honey, It's Thursday'-- duuhhh.

Happy Tuesday!

Happy Valentine's Day

Happy Valentine's Day

from The Captain and Me

You are all precious!!