Friday, July 23, 2010

Lottery casualty






A woman came home,
screeching her car into the driveway,
and ran into the house.

She slammed the door and
shouted at the top of her lungs,

"Honey, pack your bags.
I won the lottery!"

The husband said,
"Oh my God!
What should I pack,
beach stuff or mountain stuff?"


"Doesn't matter," she said.

"Just get the hell out."




Thursday, July 22, 2010

The Husband Store


A store that sells new husbands had just opened in New York City
where a woman may go to choose a husband.

Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store
operates and a sign that indicates that you may visit the store ONLY ONCE!

There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper
ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from any floor,
or may choose to go up to the next floor, but cannot go back down
except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to The Husband Store to find a mate.

On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men have jobs
She decides to go to the second floor . . .

The second floor sign reads:
Floor 2 - These men have jobs and love kids.
She decides to keep going up to the next floor . . .

The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking.
"WOW," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going . . .

The fourth floor sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love kids,
are drop dead good looking and help with housework.
"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"

Still, she moves on . . .

The fifth floor sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love kids, are drop dead gorgeous,
help with housework, and have a strong romantic streak.


She is so tempted to stay . . .

but opts to go on to the sixth floor where the Sign reads:


Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor.
There are no men on this floor.
This floor exists solely as proof that women
are impossible to please.

Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.


To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened
a New Wives store just across the street.

The first floor has wives that love sex.

The second floor has wives that love sex and have money.

The third through sixth floors have never been visited.



OUCH!! I wonder if it was a man or a woman who originally wrote this joke?


Monday, April 6, 2009

A humorous look at being broke

This is one of the funniest videos I have seen in a while! This guy is seriously funny about a bad situation that many of us are in these days . . . being broke.


Disclaimer . . .
do not watch this video if you
are offended by crude language!



Tuesday, March 31, 2009

The philosophy of housecleaning




CONFESSIONS OF A COMPUTER JUNKIE?



I don't do windows because . . .

I love birds and don't want one

to run into a clean window



I don't wax floors because . . .

I am terrified a guest will slip and

get hurt then I'll feel terrible

(plus they may sue me)



I don't mind the dust bunnies because . . .

They are very good company,

I have named most of them, and

they agree with everything I say



I don't disturb cobwebs because . . .


I want every creature to have a home of their own



I don't Spring Clean because . . .


I love all the seasons and

don't want the others to get jealous



I don't pull weeds in the garden because . . .

I don't want to get in God's way,

HE is an excellent designer!



I don't put things away because . . .

I will never be able to find them again



I don't do gourmet meals

when I entertain because . . .

I don't want my guests to

stress out over what to make when

they invite me over for dinner.



I don't iron because . . .


I choose to believe them when

they say "Permanent Press"












IS A CLEAN HOUSE A SIGN
OF A BROKEN COMPUTER?



Monday, February 16, 2009

Cooking and Cleaning




I understand the concept
of cooking and cleaning,
just not as it applies
to me.



Monday, November 3, 2008

New Breed



What would you call this cute little guy?

Muzeb is my choice . . . he is an adorable punky mule!

Sunday, August 17, 2008

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

The other desperate housewives

And we thought they were all happily ever after . . .


Doggie Love






"Puppy Love"



















awwwwwwwwww
I love dogs so much








The lighter side of love




I think we have all been here . . .
Friends and family are notorious for knowing this guy.






He seemed to be normal in the beginning . . . lol, don't they all? . . . and to not make this gender-specific, I know guys, there are many female versions of the idiot too.





Monday, July 28, 2008

Oh . . . you think you had a bad day?

My mama always tells me, when you are having a really bad day, just think that someone else isn't quite as fortunate as you are . . .




Ok, I feel better now . . .

:)


Sunday, July 27, 2008

Monday, June 30, 2008

Laughing dogs



When I first saw this pic I couldn't stop laughing. All kinds of stuff went through my mind wondering what they were laughing about. What makes a dog laugh? They do laugh, don't they? What do they find humor in?

Do you ever think your dogs are goofing on you? I once had a beagle that I swear would roll her eyes like to say . . . "mom you are being ridiculous" . . .

Oh yeah . . . notice the affectionate way the black dog has its paw on the other . . . awww how sweet.

Dogs are so awesome . . . do you think they may be singing instead of laughing?

:)

Sometimes you just have to laugh

I needed a silly blog because you just have to laugh to keep from crying sometimes. Don't you think?

Wikipedia defines laughter as an audible expression or appearance of merriment or happiness or an inward feeling of joy and pleasure. Sounds good to me . . .

My email box is always full of funny stuff that doesn't fit in any of my other blogs . . . here is where they will go.